Finding your mom crying in her bedroom is one of the worst feelings and experiences ever to be felt or seen; however, I believe in struggle and the positive outcomes that can result from such tragedies. My family has always been a close-knit group of best friends with a lovable atmosphere. Up until things started to take a turn for the worst for my mom last year, nothing tragic had ever really happened to me. There was the occasional, friend or parent disagreement, but nothing major. There was never a time up until now when I couldn’t stand to be home to only see my parents get angry, or even worse, not even talk.
It was just a checkup at the doctor’s office. My mom was feeling sick here and there and finding herself in constant pain from her back. Little did she know that she had a cancerous tumor on her right kidney that was causing her all that pain? I watched her spirit go from happy, to scared. I watched my dad get angry and constantly ask God, “why my wife?” I watched my brother of 21, a Marine stationed on base in San Diego, suddenly hear the news and not know what to think or do. It was not the fear of my mom being ok, it was the fear of lack of communication in my family and the financial issues we were and still are facing. Where would we find the money to pay for all the doctor appointments and operations? The biopsy, the scans, the surgeries.
My father was in this state of fear and not knowing what was going to happen to mom. He was having trouble finding work, feeling like a failing husband to not be able to fully provide for his wife and the financial things she needed taken care of.
Although all this happened and there was a gap in the familiar atmosphere I had been used to my entire life, me and my family came out of this struggle firmer than ever, ready to take on whatever nature or the world threw at us. It was God who gave us the strength, but also, each other. We get put through hell in the hopes of coming out of a tragedy just in time to see and feel joy. In the midst of the prayer gatherings and worries, I came out of it not scared, but firm. I became confident in God’s plans. No longer was I in this period of waiting for God, because he just showed up. At first it was in this haze, me not being able to see straight or see his purpose; but in the end, it was clear. This past week, we finally got the call that my mom was cancer free. It has become apparent that only through suffering can you know what the true basis of faith is. This, I believe.